The Intern Adventure 15: 13th Week

I worked for 6 days this week and almost ten hours each day because we were so busy at the office. I worked at the reception area for the most of the week so I was able to talk to a lot of our clients and I really had so much fun! It always makes me feel good when I know that I was able to help someone by answering their questions about their accounting and tax problems. I really have the most supportive and encouraging colleagues at work and they are all helping me to excel in my job.

On my last journal, I mentioned that I don't think I will be given the chance to do tax returns. I was wrong - I actually learned it and was able to make ten tax returns this week. I can't just do it for the most part of the week because lots of people were coming in to have their tax returns done we do not have a full time receptionist so I have to help the reception area. Working at the reception area was so fun especially when the clients were so happy that they will be getting some money back from the government and their reactions were funny. There were also some times when some clients were not really pleased when they would know that they owe money instead of having a tax refund. Being a receptionist also taught me a lot of things and it made me feel more comfortable facing and talking to clients. Even interviewing them - which was something that I really didn't want to do before - is now one of my most favourite part of my job.

One thing that I am just nervous about is the upcoming deadline to file for individual income tax returns. There were still a lot of tax returns that are not done yet and they supposed to be done already. Due to the lack of employees that are really knowledgeable about taxes, we always receive complaints from clients for not having their tax returns done on time. As students, we can only do limited things and we weren't really able to get enough training for doing tax returns, but we are doing our best. Working with Brendan, Adam and Serena made things easier for me, for all of us in the office. When I talked to Loretta this week, she told me that when she first heard that there would be four coop student who would work in the firm, she did not really like it. But now that we became really close with each other, she now does not want us to leave in August. I am really glad that I am working in a firm that values its employees. We might be experiencing stress with our jobs, but knowing that we are all working together to reach the common goal of getting everything done by the tax deadline makes things a lot easier.

The Intern Adventure 14: 12th Week

I have learned a lot of new things for this week. I was able to work at the reception area which was for me was the scariest place in the office before. I call it as "scariest" because that is the place where I will have to talk to a lot of people and answer a lot of questions. But I never thought that I would enjoy it so much! I guess I have been doing a lot of "behind-the-scenes" tasks and being in the reception area was a new experience for me.

As we are getting closer to the deadline for filing personal tax returns, I am actually starting to get worried that we might not be able to finish all of our personal clients' tax returns on time. Last year, there were more than five persons in the office who were doing tax returns but this year, there are only three. I am doing my best to finish the bookkeeping jobs on my desk. Because it was so busy, no one in the office really has the time to train us in doing income tax returns. I don't think Brendan, Serena, and I will have the chance to do tax returns for this tax season but we are all hoping that we can learn after the tax season is over. For now, we are all busy helping each other out to get all the bookkeeping jobs done and hoping that we will be done before the tax deadline.

Going back to being at the reception area, I also had some problems. There were a lot of times when I really don't know the answer to some of our clients' questions. I had the same problem when answering phone calls. I found it really disappointing for myself, but I learned to deal with it eventually with the help of my supportive colleagues. At first, I was always thinking the negative side of it, which was always feeling stupid everytime I don't know the answer to a client's question, but now, I view it as a learning opportunity.

One of my objectives was to know the Canadian income tax return more closely. Working at the reception area made me realize that I was still not really that familiar with many things about the income tax act because I was always doing the bookkeeping part, which was all accounting-related. I am pretty sure that we will be receiving a lot of questions from customers as we hit the tax deadline and I am really positive that I will learn a lot from them.

The Intern Adventure 13: 11th Week

It was kind of a "social week" at the office this week. First, it was our boss's birthday and we had a little lunch party, and second, we went to a St. Patrick's party last night. We have been crazily busy at the office this week and having those little get-together to have fun were really awesome. I even heard Loretta saying, "We should change the stereotype that accountants are boring" before we went to the party last night. It was really fun!

On the other side, since it's the busy time of the year in the office, we are receiving a lot of phone calls than usual. I am the only one in the office who has not been trained yet at the reception area, but I am trying my best to help them by answering phone calls. I was really hesitant with answering phones before if that was not for me, but with this busy season, I feel like I am training myself. There was one lady who called to ask if wigs are a deductible medical expense and since I completely don't know the answer, I have to tell her that I will phone her back. What really surprised me was that no one in the office knows the answer and Ted, one of the firm's partners, had to search for it. I phoned the client back and told her that wigs are deductible medical expenses and she was really glad to know it. She was actually not the only one who was quite happy about it, but everyone in the office since that was kind of a new knowledge on that day. This experience made me realize that clients also bring new knowledge to the people in the office. I was always scared to answer phone calls because I am scared of not knowing the answers to every client's inquiry and will eventually hurt the firm's image. Because of that little experience, I became more confident in answering phone calls without having the fear of not being able to help them.

Another story of my week was when I filed the GST return of one of my clients and phoned her to tell her how much she owe for GST. She did not know that the GST for most of her expenses can be deducted from the total GST that she collected so she was expecting to pay more than the actual amount that she has to. I told her how I calculated her GST and she was really glad to know about it because her business was a newly GST-registered one. It made me feel good because I know that the client was really happy with my service and it made me realize how important my job was.

Because of my work, I realize that small accounting firms like A1 Accounting are really important especially to the people who do not really know much about tax and accounting. I am always thinking that helping people is really a satisfying job. Working with this small firm gave me the chance to help those people with their taxes and accounting and it was always nice to see them being able to understand the things that I explain to them. It was really fulfilling and it makes me love being an accountant even more - no matter how stressful it might be.

The Intern Adventure 12: 9th Week

They said that a Canadian tax season for Canadian accounting and tax professionals is a really stressful time of the year. Everyone wanted to have their taxes done few days after they dropped their tax slips and receipts off in the office. I witnessed it and I appreciate more the job of an accountant - I appreciate my future self more. But this tax season for me is more of a learning opportunity, some of the skills that I hoped to develop are really coming to life now.

Just for this week, I dealt with four clients and I cannot believe that I was able to finish the bookkeeping and GST filing jobs for them. If I was the same person before, I do not think that I could do that because my multitasking skills were not really good. I can now say that my multitasking skills are improving (Objective A, second bullet). I am really happy that another week has ended and I know that I accomplished something good not only for the company, but for myself as well.

Since I have been talking to four clients, it is not surprising how I become more confident in talking to them. Talking to the phone was something that I really do not want to do before because it is so uncomfortable for me. I love how I can just easily pick up the phone when someone's calling me without feeling nervous or uneasy. I love how I can just easily dial people's numbers when I have to call them without shaking my hands. I would say my interpersonal skills are improving as well and I can now interact with people more comfortably (Objective A, second bullet).

What I love the most about A1 Accounting is the freedom that they give to us to learn things on our own while giving us full support whenever we need them. They never pressure us to get things done but the trust that they give to us that we can do the tasks assigned to us is something that inspires us to do well.

The Intern Adventure 11: 8th Week

Now that I am now down on my second month at work, I would like to reflect on how things are going, how I improved and the things that I learned so far.

It's getting busier at work because tax season has almost started and we are already receiving high volumes of jobs at the office. I am finally done with the other two bookkeeping jobs that I have been working on since in the past few weeks. My experience with those two bookkeeping jobs helped me improve my communication skills because I have to contact my clients for some information that I need from them. Meeting clients in person was one of my concern before, and now that I met three clients this week, I would say that I am getting more comfortable at it. Since I have worked with the books of these two companies for the few weeks, I was feeling a high sense of responsibility towards them. I know that I should, but this feeling inspired me to do my job well and to serve the clients to the best way that I can.

There are also many things that I can already do alone comfortably. I can compute and file GST returns now and I can now fix errors in the QuickBooks software easily which I find complicated before. I am also getting more familiar with Canadian Income Tax (which is one of my objectives) because I learned a lot from our office's different types of clients.

As I always say, I am really happy at A1 Accounting. I love how my bosses are so supportive, encouraging, and fun to work with and I love how they treat us, coop students, as part of their family. With this kind of people around me, I learned that the best way to get your people to do their best at work is to not let them feel that they have to. You just have to be supportive of them and recognize them for their achievements, no matter how small they are. I know that it might not apply to every organization but it helps that I have an idea on how to manage people in the future.

The Intern Adventure 10: 7th Week

This week is not my favourite week. I have not accomplished my goal which was to finish the bookkeeping for two companies that I was working on since last week. As a result, I am stocked with those same jobs and I can't move forward to other jobs. I was feeling guilty because I feel like I can't help them with the other jobs that need to be done.

But to tell you frankly, I have learned a lot from this whole experience. I thought that I was already finished with those two jobs and when I showed it to my supervisor, there were still a lot of things that need to be corrected. While being busy trying to finish my work, I was also busy thinking what would people around me would think about me if I am being too slow with what I was doing. I guess that was the part where everything went wrong. I was creating a problem in my mind that would never exist - which was something that I usually do. I should have focused on trying to make things right rather than trying to make people believe that I am really good. I am embarrassed to admit that I was a bit proud of myself. There were times when I don't want to seek for any help because I believe that I can do everything by myself. I thought I have overcome that already but seemed like it can't be easily changed. I guess I have to put that as one of my personal objectives that I really hope I can develop.

I also learned a lot from my senior colleagues. It was always nice to work in the little office full of warm people. When I feel like it's getting stressful at work, I will look around me and no one seems to have a bad day. I have never seen my colleagues being in a bad mood. What I admire the most in the office right now is our supervisor, Loretta. She might not realize it but I am learning a lot from her when it comes to organizational management which I could all apply in the future. She is a kind of boss who will always have time for you no matter how busy she is and would always encourage you to do better. She will always make you feel that your mistakes do not define who you are, but will encourage you to learn from them. I would like to be her in the future.

The Intern Adventure 9: Valentine's at Work (6th Week)

There was a saying, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." That saying has been on my mind this week. Lots of good things happen in the office this week, and I can say that I am happy. For so many reasons, I am just happy!

I remember the night before our work started, I remember how I was feeling scared to start. I even remember how many times I stopped walking when I was heading to the office just to think how should I present myself to the people there, and how scared I was to fail. But now, every morning, I can't wait to get to the office to start working and to meet my colleagues. Then when I get home at around 5:00 pm, my sisters would tell me that I don't look tired at all and I seem to be happy. And then I realize this one thing - it is not the job itself that will make you happy in the workplace, it is actually the people you. I am always inspired to go to work when I remember how warm my colleagues are, and how they treat us, co-op students, as a part of their family. I laugh with them, I tell stories with them, I eat lunch with them (Brendan treated us a super delicious lunch earlier and it's my turn next Friday), and I learn with them. My objective, being more open to people, is becoming successful now and I can't wait to get that off of my objectives list. :)

It is getting busier now at work and I am starting to feel the pressure now, but I see it as a positive thing for me. I have three client books that I am currently working on and they are all needing to their employees' T4s by next week so I have to hurry. I am really thankful that I got in to this co-op program because I realize that I really like to be an accountant. I wasn't sure about this before, and I was worried that I won't like it once I started working after I get my university degree. This internship experience makes me feel excited about my future professional career and it inspires me to study hard when I go back to university this fall. At my work now, almost everyday is a surprise for myself - I learn many new things about myself everyday. My primary concern was my self-confidence but I can say now that I am improving, I am learning to trust myself more. 

Also, today is Valentine's Day. I made some giveaways for clients and we wore red in the office. Today was really fun. I had a good time with my colleagues and I am excited to go work on Monday. Yes, that's a holiday but I am coming to work because I just want to (and I also need to finish some bookkeeping!!). :)

The Intern Adventure 8: 5th Week

It was a truly productive week for me. I volunteered as the social media manager of the company and I am loving it! I also moved to a new desk where I can talk more to my colleagues and it's really a good decision. I can say that I am close to achieving one of my personal objectives - to be more open to people. It's really nice to have a good laugh with my colleagues, especially Verna and Loretta because they are really fun!

I am currently working on two bookkeeping jobs, one for a car dealer and one for a bedroom centre. The bookkeeping for the car dealer was a little complicated at first, but as I work on it, I was able to figure out what to do. The bedroom centre is a new client so for me it's a special project because I will be the first one in the office to work on it. I made all the spreadsheet templates and it's an easier job for me now. I only seek for a little help from my manager so that means I am starting to be more comfortable with my job.

It is really important for me to accomplish my personal objectives because I feel like they will change my life in the future. I have never thought that being more comfortable around people is really important, especially when those people are your clients. I was asked by our manager to call the owner of the bedroom centre and I easily did it. That might sound a little thing for others, but for me, that's a big achievement. I treated myself a strawberry ice cream after that day.

As I always say, I really love my colleagues! Loretta brought a cake that she baked to ask if her recipe would be good enough for her second cookbook that she will publish. I heard her saying to Ms. Joe (our Chinese accountant) that she's doing the cookbook to promote the "prairie cherries" in Saskatchewan. That was an inspiration for me because I realized that you can do wonderful things with your passion.

Next week, I will be finished with the bookkeeping jobs that I am working on. One of my objectives for next week is to file one income tax return and I really hope that I will be able to accomplish that! :)

The Intern Adventure 7: 4th Friday

It is starting to get busier at work, but at the same time, it is getting more fun and more exciting to come to work everyday! I cannot believe that I am actually on my fourth Friday journal entry already. Time flies so fast. But when I think of all the remaining months that I have with this company, I feel really excited.

This week, I had a blast - I could say that I really did something awesome and something important for one of our clients. One of my learning objectives is to feel more confident about myself, especially when the time comes that I have to talk to a client. One of our clients, a real estate broker, came to us to ask if we could double-check the GST that he paid last quarter. He was a picky customer, he really went through ALL of the details of the bookkeeping that our senior bookkeeper did for him (who already resigned). There were lots of errors that he noticed so he was a bit disappointed. Our office manager came to me and ask if I can deal with that problem and do the bookkeeping for him for the last quarter of the year. I went through everything and checked every single error that he was talking about, until I noticed that a GST that he paid for one of his expenses was not reported as part of the ITC (Input tax credit) that was used to calculate the GST that he had to pay for the third quarter. In short, he paid more for the previous quarter. He also asked if we can determine how our former senior bookkeeper broken down the amount of his office expenses. I was able to figure that out and made a break-down report of the said expenses. I was so happy because my office manager was impressed about what I did and I felt that she trusted me and let me file the client's GST online. When the client came back, I was so nervous because our office manager called me and asked if I want to explain to the client what I did with his GST and other bookkeeping concerns. Seriously, I was really really nervous when she called my name and asked me about that (although I tried my best not to show it). That was the first time that I talked to client about accounting matters and my reward was so priceless - the client told me: "You're the best!". (I am actually smiling while typing this. :))

I also met with my mentor from KPMG this week and told her about my work experience. Before I started working, I thought that when I meet her, I will have a lot of concerns to address during our meeting and I will need a lot of advice. But I just saw myself talking to her with a happy and excited face and I cannot remember any circumstance that I told something negative. She is so happy for me and I am now more excited to meet her again next week and tell her more happy stories!

All the intimidation that I thought at first I would feel, all of the fears that I had before, and all of the negative thoughts that I had for myself like low self-esteem and low self-confidence were gone only during my first month at work. I so love my colleagues! I feel so welcome and I feel so important. All of my contributions to the company were being appreciated by my supervisor and office manager. What more if I will stay there for the next seven months? Isn't amazing? Isn't exciting? :)

The Intern Adventure 6: Third Friday

The third week was fun. I am getting more comfortable with my job and I am getting closer to my colleagues (although I am such a quiet girl working so hard in her desk and not talking so much). Even if I do not talk a lot, I still enjoy the firm that I am working with and its employees.

This week, I was assigned to do the bookkeeping for two restaurants, and an energy corporation. I can say that the highlight of my week was the three days that I have spent working on the T2200s (Declaration of Condition of Employment) of 57 employees of the energy corporation that I was working on. After spending almost three hours sorting a lot (when I say "a lot", that was really A LOT), of pay stubs of those 57 employees (who had been seriously paid really good) and spending a whole working day for entering the data from their pay stubs, I finally reached the final stage - the actual completion of T2200s. To be honest, it was not the filling up of forms that was complicated, but the whole process. I have to double-check the figures and the SIN numbers (for three times) of employees for three times for two reasons: first, the amounts that I have to report on the forms and the employees' SIN numbers were sensitive and simply cannot be wrong; second, I was so happy that my senior colleague, Verna, has let me do that task and I just did not want to fail her. And my reward? A tap at the back. When I got that from my senior colleague, it was so priceless, especially when she told me that I did a good job. :)

Oh, and the funniest thing about this week was when I used the typewriter - yes, a typewriter. I just thought it was funny because when Verna asked me if I was sure that I was really okay about using the typewriter and I said "yes", she told me that I was supposed to say "no". LOL. But I actually had fun, I have never seen a typewriter as fancy as that. The keys were like that of a computer and you can actually delete anything that you wanted to delete. I was actually able to take a picture of it and here it is:

See? Quite fancy, right? Or it's just me who hasn't seen one before? Haha.

Earlier I started working on the bookkeeping for a bbq restaurant and I like it. :) I just hope that I can do better things for that restaurant (aside from bookkeeping) and do the more complicated stuff - such as GST filing. 

Accounting is really not for everyone. I cannot imagine some of my friends, even my sister, doing the things that an accountant does for the rest of their lives. I consider myself lucky for being into the accounting major and I am more excited to the more challenging stuff that are waiting for me. :)

The Intern Adventure 5: Second Friday

It has been a very productive and fun week for me. I said that it is a productive week because I had the opportunity to work on my personal development and job-related objectives. I was assigned to do a full year of bookkeeping for a restaurant, doing a bank reconciliation and producing their trial balance. My works were reviewed by our manager who does the corporate tax returns and it was really fulfilling to know that I did them right and it really increased my self-confidence. I am also getting more familiar on what it is like to work for an accounting firm and I am really having fun so far. I haven’t talked to my supervisor yet about my learning objectives but seeing for myself that they really are attainable makes it more fun!

When we met with one of the partners of that firm, Ted, to discuss our roles more, he told that I and Serena did a good job because we were able to balance a bank reconciliation perfectly on our first try. This might be a little thing for others, but the first time that I was able to balance a bank reconciliation, I can’t help but smile and be proud of myself. I considered that as an accomplishment and it inspires me to work harder and contribute more not only to the firm, but to myself as well.

I am also getting more comfortable and more familiar with various accounting software in the office such as QuickBooks and Open Office.  Working on more sets of books taught me a lot about different bookkeeping practices for different businesses within different industries. So far, I have done bookkeeping for two restaurants, a gaming company, and a pet grooming shop.

Working at A1 Accounting is really fun, especially my senior colleagues. Almost all of them have the same age as my parents but they still tease each other and they laugh at one another. J Even if I don’t talk a lot, I just see myself laughing at their jokes and they are also one of the reasons why I really love my job. I approached my supervisor earlier with the original intention of talking about my learning objectives but we just end up talking and laughing about something else with other people in the office until she has to leave! I, Brendan, and Adam agreed to talk to our supervisor on Monday about our learning objectives and I am excited about that. J

The Intern Adventure 4: My First Bank Reconciliation! Hahahaha

Well yeah, as the title goes.. I was just so happy that I finally made a bank reconciliation. It was not a lot but I just couldn't believe that I just made one. Haha. I don't know why I am so happy but I just really am. Haha!

I was feeling happy since this morning. :) The reason? I might probably still remember if I will read this entry again... or maybe not. Maybe not? Haha.

The Intern Adventure 3: First Week

My first four days at work were pretty easy. We just did a lot of data entries and some file sorting. I expected something better, but of course I know that was because we were just starting. To be honest, for the first week, I thought we will be "heavily" trained to do something "complicated" such as bank and book reconciliation or doing different tasks using various accounting and tax software that they have in the office. What we did instead were entering data to the templates and I couldn't remember a single circumstance where I have to critically think over something.

Do you think I'm complaining? Sorry, but no, I find it pretty interesting for the first week! Even if the tasks were not that heavy, I realized that being an accountant is pretty scary. It was taking me forever to enter the data for the December bookkeeping for a particular client because I want to make sure that I won't make a mistake. Numbers are scarier than words; if number 8 should be 9, your financial statements might screw up. I haven't experienced bookkeeping before and I am saying that based on my more than five years of studying accounting.  I am also double checking everything because I am scared that if I entered a wrong data, my boss will be annoyed at me.

But when I leave my desk and walk around the office, I can just see my bosses smiling and helping everyone around them... then I will just laugh at myself because I would realize I was just being a paranoid. I am a person who have a lot of questions but doesn't want to ask for more than two times because she doesn't want to be annoying. I am always hesitating to ask my other colleagues and bosses especially when I see that they are busy on something. I want to change that. I want to be more comfortable seeking for someone's help. I want to believe that it is always okay to ask - and that is one of the things that I want to learn from this whole internship experience.

www.mobypicture.com

I would say that even if all the things that I did for the first four days were not that great, I am still positive and excited for the next weeks and months to come. Data entry is not something that I would like to do forever, but I must admit that was also fun because I can see myself being busy at the office, being terribly busy on something. Being busy is fun for me and I don't know why.

My other boss told me that on Monday, I will continue on dealing with a client's account that I have been working on since Wednesday. I know that wouldn't be a lot of data entry though but let's see what happens. :)

The Intern Adventure 2: First Day

This isn't my first job, but I must say - I had the greatest first day at work ever!! I was feeling scared before and I was not feeling good about myself before I get started but I never expected to have this kind of fun!

For the first couple hours of the day's work, Adam and Darren from Improv (not sure if that's the name where they were from), were invited (that's what I know) to build the confidence and to make us feel better about working at A1 (the name of the company I am currently interning at).  They held a bunch of games and all of them were just sooooooo FUN!! I was laughing the whole time and even if I screwed up with some of the games because I was really shy (yeah), I never felt bad. I just saw myself enjoying that very moment. The games were just held for two hours but it already made me feel welcomed and happy and excited to be working for the next eight months.

The part that I didn't enjoy that much though was when I and my other two fellow interns Adam and Brendan have to clean the storage room. But when I am thinking about it now, it was a good idea that our boss, Jordan, gave that task to us because I get to know Adam and Brendan more. I learned that Adam likes fishing and Brendan really likes to tell stories (and I just wonder if he knows that). Technically, I've known them since we started training for the co-op program back in March 2013 but I just get to know them closely when, well, we cleaned the storage room. I must say that was fun too. :)

My other senior colleagues, Loretta, Anne, Yu and Verna were so welcoming. They were just smiling at us all the time and I have never felt that kind of intimidation and fear that I usually feel when I start working. I can feel their support towards us interns and they look really fun to work with! :)

Jordan and Ted, the two managing partners, were I swear - the coolest employers I have ever met. They're too funny! Ted doesn't smile a lot but his telling to many funny things. Jordan is really funny too. He's really close with his staff (and Ted too!) and I feel like he treats them as family. He just talks too fast and sometimes I can't catch up some of the things that he's saying, but I am more than 100% sure that he'll be so approachable if I ask him about something.

I am also very happy because, as I have mentioned in my previous blog, I am working with my close friend Serena. When we were choosing our desks, I just realized that I should have picked the desk beside her. I got too excited about having my own quarter and forgot about that. But not a problem though, I can just run to her whenever I want. :)

What I am feeling now? A part of me is feeling bad because when Jordan asked me if I can work on Monday nights and present to some group of people, I said no. I really do not wanna work at night but I guess I also immediately felt scared about the thought of presenting to people. I am still not confident about that but I know that I have to learn that and feel good about it.

What am I feeling now again? Actually, to be honest, I still feel scared, but less scared though than last night. I love the people, I love the firm, I just don't wanna screw up and get fired on April. But I am still very positive that sooner or later, I will get used to what I will be doing in the next 8 months and I will do my best to be really good! :)

I know God will never leave me and He will always guide me in every step of the way. :)

Oh, by the way, I got some pictures of me before I go to work earlier (or should I say I just wanna post my "OOTD".) Haha!

The Intern Adventure 1: The Night Before

I am prepared for tomorrow. I have my bag packed with all the things I need. I have my clothes ready as well. I have already set my alarm... oops, actually, not yet. Let me do that first. Okay, now it's all set, with my favourite Korean song as my alarm tone (should I really do that? What if I just end up hating it?). But to be honest, I am quite scared.

Yes, I am quite scared... or nervous? Are those two different?

I am... nervous (okay, let's just use that word) because this will be my very first office job. By that, I mean, this will be the very first time that I will be working in an office setting - in an accounting firm to be exact. I am nervous because I am scared to screw up. I am scared that I will do things that might be unbearable to deal with for my employer, or to my other senior colleagues. But I know though that not everyone in the workplace will be expecting me to be phenomenal on my first few weeks at work. Maybe I am just nervous because I am not that confident about myself.

Oh.. wait. Did I just say I am not confident about myself? Was that the main reason why I am doing this internship? To be confident?

Right. That's right! I want to be more confident about myself that's why I am doing this. Now, with that thought, I am getting excited. I know the sudden change of mood is quite weird but that's what I am feeling right now. I might do well, but I swear I will do my best to be well.

I am also excited because I will be working with one of my closest friend in Edwards. Knowing that I will be working with her makes me feel more excited and relieved. :)

Good night. I will just watch one episode of my favourite Korean drama and then I'm gonna have a good night sleep. :)

Fighting, Hazel. Kaya mo yan!! :)

P.S. The weather is quite scary. It's way too cold and I have to walk for about 10 minutes. Good thing I have a nice cozy jacket and a headset to keep me entertained while walking. Hehe. :)

Reasons

"If there is a reason for us to meet, then, don't you think we will? If I leave without meeting her, then, it will be because there was no reason too."
-My Love From th Star

...it will be because there was no reason to. No reason to.

Shouldn't Be Here

Why do they have to keep me wait all the time? Why do they have to leave me hanging?
Why can't they just let me be..
Why can't they just let me go?
It would have been so much lighter if they will just let me.

Warmth

Beautiful Man. Episode 14, last scene:

Dokgo Ma Te to Kim Bo Tong:

"From now on... I'll come to you."

This scene is so warm, it just feels so good. :)

"The smile on my face... is that love?"

You can just say, yes, it is. :)

(c) www.jangkeunsukforever.com

Beautiful

I am currently listening to Passenger's song, Let Her Go. I really like this song because it tells me a lot of things about life - things that I have just ignored, things that I regret losing because I never realized their worth while they're all with me, things that I have left unnoticed because I was too busy with other things, with other people.

I have been too busy being a critic of my own self - I always thought that I can't be any better. I feel like I am too fat and too ugly to be noticed. For almost a decade, that's what I was thinking. I was always busy comparing myself to other girls who are a lot skinnier and a lot prettier than me. I always hope that someday, I can be like them too. I hate it when my friends and siblings will tag me to pictures where my double chin's showing up, when my tummy wants to get a place on the picture too - really hate at and it's too tiring. It's too tiring to be embarrassed all the time and to think about what other people would think about me. When it  really gets too tiring to compare myself to other girls, I just want to shut myself up from the world and deactivate all of my social media accounts that tie me to those insecurities that consume me. It's too tiring to hear that I am not beautiful, that I am fat, that I am just hopeless. At least hearing them from people closest to my heart hurts me because I know their jokes contain the truth.

I love many people, I love my friends, I love my family, but I just realized that I have never learned to love myself, not until now.

My younger sister always tells me that I am beautiful and she is always proud to tell everyone that her Ate (older sister) is really pretty. She tells me all the time that I am sexy and whenever she feels like I feel bad about myself, she will always try to lift my spirits up and do my hair and make-up. I realized that I shouldn't feel bad about myself because I am not physically attractive - but I should feel bad for making my sister feel bad because I feel bad about myself. Not only my sister, but my mom too. When my Mama was still alive, she will always tell me that her daughter is a jewel and she is really pretty. I like it when she tells me that she didn't want me to get skinny because I will be less "huggable." Lol. I feel bad. But whenever I think about my mother and my sister who always believe on the beauty that I have in my heart, it makes me feel more beautiful.

My sister (left) and I (right). :)

This New Year 2014, one of the resolutions that I am slowly trying to achieve is to accept myself for who and what I really am. It's not that easy because this is the first time in my life that I am learning to accept myself and my imperfections. It's not that easy though to admit all of my insecurities but I feel that I should let them out through this blog so that one day, if I will feel bad about myself again, I will read this to myself and be reminded of how beautiful I really am... that I am more than what I think I am. :))

No one's really ugly, it's just a thought people have within themselves. Learning to accept yourself will make you happier... and eventually, be more beautiful like flowers. :) Negative thoughts... let me go. :)

Well you only need the light when it's burning low 
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow 
Only know you love her when you let her go 

 Only know you've been high when you're feeling low 
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home 
Only know you love her when you let her go 
And you let her go

Happy Mori Cases! :)

For a little more than a year, I have been wanting to have a Happy Mori case . Happy Mori is a South Korean company specializing in super cute cellphone cases. Their designs are too awesome that make me want all of them! Haha. I have a Samsung Galaxy S4 and cell shops here in my city do not sell a lot of cute cases. They all have the cute ones for IPhones so I always look online for cute S4 cases. But I got a problem here - I can't decide on which one's the best for my phone, or should I say, they're too many awesome options and I can't pick one? Haha. Well, I guess that's the case! Here are some of the cases that I am having trouble deciding which one to pick - oh, and they're all from eBay:

 (1) The "Eiffel Tower" Case 

 (2) Village Pattern

(3) Memories

(4) Nordic Pattern - Flower (This one is for Iphone 5 but they got one with the same design for S4)

(5) Bird Diary

They're all cute, aren't they?? Or at least that's what I thought. Haha. Which one should I get?? If I could only have all of them, but they cost a lot! Each costs around $30-$40 so I can only get one. Lol. Help me decide!

Why I like them? They look cute and happy. I feel like using them will always want me to look at my phone and feel better all the time. Hahaha. Yeah, I tend to be childish most of the time. Haha.